Murphyho zákony o koních
Neposlušnost koně je přímo úměrná počtu přihlížejících lidí
Pokud před přepravou koně zkontrolujete přívěs, určitě se cestou pokazí
Nikdo si pořádně nevšimne jak jezdíte dokud nespadnete z koně
Ten nejhorší kůň z celé stáje rozhodně žere ze všech nejvíc, potřebuje nové podkovy každé 4 týdny a alespoň jednou měsíčně potřebuje veterináře
Výstroj, kterou nesnášíte je nezničitelná
Kůň, kterého nesnášíte je neprodejný a přežije všechny ve stáji
Neplodná stájová kočka NEEXISTUJE
Mašinka na holení se pokazí pouze tehdy, když zbývá oholit pouze hlavu
Pokud si nejste jisti, zda jste ve stáji zavřeli vodu, pak jste ji nezavřeli
Pokud si nejste jisti, zda jste zavřeli ohradu, pak jste ji nezavřeli
Jeden kůň je málo, dva jsou moc
Jakmile se ve svém svátečním oblečení dostanete na deset metrů od stáje, zašpiníte se
Je-li kůň inzerován za cenu “do pěti tisíc“, určitě nebude stát dva a půl
Vyběrák na kopyta se stěhuje sám od sebe
Síla větru roste přímo úměrně tomu, jak špatně vám sedí klobouk
Nejlepší je přestat, právě když vyhráváš
Koňské desatero
1. Ohlodávání - přispěj svou troškou do mlýna architektury a ohlodávej stěny boxu, dvířka, ohrady nebo jakékoli jiné dřevěné předměty.
2. Čerstvá podestýlka - je naprosto v pořádku, když se vyčůráš doprostřed čerstvě nastlaného boxu. Člověk potom ví, že si ceníš jeho práce.
3. Frkání - lidi mají rádi, když na ně někdo prská. Je tvou povinností abys jim coby rodinný miláček vyhověl.
4. Řehtání - protože jsi kůň, čeká se od tebe, že budeš řehtat. Tak řehtej - a hodně. Tvůj majitel bude mít radost, až uslyší, jak hlídáš stáj a komunikuješ s ostatními koňmi. Obzvláště to ocení uprostřed noci, když sladce spí doma v posteli. Člověk totiž nezná lepší pocit, než když musí být pozdě v noci vzhůru a poslouchat to nekonečné: "ihahá, ihahá..."
5. Stravování - nezapomeň roztahat seno po celém stání, obzvlášť když je čerstvě podestlané pilinami, a pak vše důkladně promíchat. Vzniklá směs je pro tvého člověka výzvou a všichni dobře víme, jak lidi milují výzvy. Koneckonců, aspoň to tvrdili, když nás kupovali.
6. Olizování - než začneš svého člověka olizovat, vždycky se napřed pořádně napij. Člověk má raději čistou hubu. Taky nezapomeň vlastní hlavou pečlivě vytřít místa, na nichž si ho předtím oslintal.
7. Vrata - jakákoli vrátka třebas jen pootevřená jsou pozvánkou k utužení fyzické kondice tvé i tvého člověka. Vrátka rozraz, a pak jen poklusávej kolek mimo dosah člověka, který zběsile běhá a snaží se tě chytit. Čím déle vytrváš, tím větší povyražení poskytneš všem zúčastněným.
8. Skotačení - jestliže při skotačení ve výběhu ztratíš půdu pod nohama, použij některého z přítomných koní, aby zbrzdil tvůj pád, a aby ses sám nezranil. Jen tak bude ten nechutný veterinář chodit k ostatním a ne k tobě.
9. Návštěvy - rychle odhadni, který z návštěvníků má z koní strach. Smýkej sebou na uvazišti, hlasitě řehtej a ceň zuby směrem k této osobě. Pokud couvne a začne ječet, mrskni ocasem, podusávej nohama a jemně zarži, aby viděl, že tě opravdu vystrašil.
10. Kočky - když stojíš uvázaný, snaž se kolemjdoucí kočce přišlápnout ocas. Věci dostanou rychlejší spád!
Pravdivý koňský slovník
Branky - kovové nebo dřevěné konstrukce zhotovené pro pobavení koní
Cval - chod, jenž kůň používá příležitostně při návratu do stáje
Čištění - dokonalé umění jak přemístit prach z vlastního koně na sebe
Dostih - to, co provádí vaše srdce po nahlédnutí do účtu od veterináře
Dýchavičnost - stav, k němuž dochází u všech zúčastněných při úklidu sena
Hovada - savý hmyz vybavený radarovým systémem; obvykle dosahuje velikosti malého ptáčka
Hřebeček - to, co vaše kobyla porodí pokaždé, když si přejete kobylku
Kohoutek - pravý důvod , proč tak zřídka vidíte jezdit muže bez sedla
Kolika - stav zažívacího systému vzniklý v důsledku požití potravy u stánků na jezdeckých h závodech
Krmivo - finančně náročná substance zpracovávaná manufakturně na velké množství hnoje
Lonžování - tréninková metoda, hojně využívaná koňmi. Majitelé jsou při ní nuceni otáčet se v malých kroužcích, až úplně zblbnou a odpadnou, takže kůň se může konečně vrátit k pastvě
Mouchy - záminka, které kůň využívá k tomu, aby vás mohl nakopnout , aby si mohl vyhodit nebo se o vás opřít, přičemž nesmí být potrestán
Mustang - něco, za co by váš drahý manžel velice rád vyměnil vašeho milovaného koně, hlavně aby byl červený a měl v pořádku brzdy
Nabídkový katalog - ilustrovaná brožovaná příručka nabízející široký sortiment zboží, z něhož valná většina již není na skladě
Otlaky od podbřišníku - bolestivý otok a zhmožděnina, která vzniká v místech, kde mohutná stříbrná spona opasku přesahuje na břiše okraj kalhot
Podkovy - drahé půlkulaté kovové předměty, které koně velice rádi ztrácejí
Pinto - strakatý (obvykle zeleno-bílý) barevný typ, v nějž se promění váš čerstvě umytý šiml poté, co jste jej nechaly deset minut o samotě
Pony - skutečná velikost hřebce, jehož mražené semeno jste si nechali poslat, ačkoli byl inzerován jako 170 cm vysoký
Rašple - abrasivní dlouhý kus kovu, určený ke strhnutí kůže z vlastních prstů
Roček - věk, v němž kůň zapomene kompletně všechno, co jste jej do té doby naučili
Mladí koně - obecně používaný termín pro všechny koně, kteří jsou dost staří na to, aby vás pokousali a pokopali, ale nejsou ještě dost staří na to, aby vás zašlapali do země
Seno - zelený pichlavý materiál, který se zachytává mezi vrstvami ošacení, především pak na choulostivých místech
Skoková příprava - charakteristický pohyb, který kůň provádí v okamžiku, kdy dostal injekci
Spavá nemoc - stav, jenž u majitele klisny nastává v okamžiku,kdy se u klisny objevují první stahy a začíná rodit. Způsobuje ji řada probděných nocí a projevuje se podrážděností, zarudlýma očima a vzhledem zombie. Může trvat i několik týdnů
Sedlo - velmi nákladné kožené zařízení, které jezdci dodává falešný pocit sebedůvěry
Sedlovna - místnost, kam se ukládají všechny pomůcky nezbytné pro práci s koněm a pro ježdění, přičemž žádnou z nich nelze objevit dříve než za 30 minut
Vodítko - dlouhý předmět uzpůsobený k získání popálených dlaní. Občas je koně využívají k tomu, aby se majitelé trošku proletěli
Všestrannost - schopnost majitele vyházet hnůj, opravit ohradu a najít zaběhnutého koně; to vše v jednom odpoledni
Vyběrák na kopyta - užitečný kovový zahnutý nástroj, s nímž lze pohodlně odstranit psí hovínka z podrážky
Zauzlení střev - vnitřní stav většiny jezdců před startem
Zelenáč - popis barvy obličeje majitele koně, který právě obdržel účet od renomovaného trenéra
Zchromnutí - stav většiny jezdců po několika prvních lekcích v sedle; u svátečních jezdců může jít o chronický stav
Zoo - typická atmosféra panující ve většině stájí
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Where to understand the recent chapters of the manga "Jujutsu Kaisen"?
(ItadoriMat, 21. 11. 2022 10:34)
Yuji Itadori is an unnaturally fit soprano school devotee living in Sendai. On his deathbed, his grandfather instils two powerful messages within Yuji: "forever take others" and "die surrounded close people." Yuji's friends at the Veiled Fraternity attracted Curses to their first when they unsealed a vile snitch parley which Yuji swallowed to screen Megumi Fushiguro and their friends, fashionable body to a influential Curse named Ryomen Sukuna. Due to Sukuna's evil universe, all sorcerers are required to exorcise him (and, by span, Yuji) immediately. But upon seeing Yuji retaining curb during the course of his council, Megumi's fellow Satoru Gojo brings him to the Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu Expensive Day-school with a suggestion to his superiors: put Yuji's dying sentence and column junior to Satoru until he consumes all of Sukuna's fingers so the Profanity can be eliminated. At the in any case obsolete, a group of cursed spirits plan a multi-layered censure on the circle of jujutsu shamanism, including the Cursed spirit Mahito and a corrupted enchanter named Suguru Geto, who was executed by Satoru a year prior. The Kyoto boarding-school's primary wants Yuji unconcerned straight away at the tit for tat episode between the Tokyo and Kyoto jujutsu schools. In deviate from, others side with Satoru to incarcerate Yuji alive.
Jujutsu Kaisen read manga online >> https://spotui.com/139-jujutsu-kaisen-chapter-136.html
The mutilated Kyoto Jujutsu Tech second-year schoolboy Kokichi Muta, who pilots Mechamaru, is revealed to be a mole. Geto and the cursed spirits air a sort out over Shibuya. Miscellaneous sorcerers blow in at the section to fight them. Satoru fights mistaken cursed spirits and exorcises Hanami but is sealed away on Geto in a certain artifact. The events also verify that the in circulation Geto is not the novel but measure Geto's stiff crazed by an primitive sorcerer named Kenjaku. Yuji and his allies face Kenjaku's forces, with Satoru alleviate trapped inside the artifact. As the fact ends, Kenjaku reveals that he has been jumping from society to body for thousands of years and implanting Binding Vows, which in turn awakens thousands of unfamiliar sorcerers throughout Japan, including Tsumiki Fushiguro, Megumi's step-sister. He then unleashes a slew of curses on Japan, ushering in formlessness and a world of cursed spirits reminiscent of the Heian period.
Jujutsu Kaisen read >> https://spotui.com/165-jujutsu-kaisen-chapter-168.html
In the aftermath, Yuji and Megumi band up with second-year student Yuta Okkotsu and Yuki Tsukumo, a loyal hill jujutsu warlock and one of the most resilient sorcerers of all time, along with half-human, half-Curse Choso and second-year schoolgirl Maki Zenin to handle with Tengen. Tengen, an famous, part-Curse part-human jujutsu warlock, reveals Kenjaku's plan to amalgamate Tengen's consciousness with Japan's philanthropist population. The Culling Plot, Kenjaku's all-out clash between the sorcerers and Profanity users of Japan, then begins.
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